Love for my Life
When a part of your purpose is that there is no plan, it is easy to get caught up thinking that something is wrong, that something is off. “I should have a traditional career by now, I should have a mortgage by now, I should have children by now…” I don’t have any of that. I weave dreams into reality. That is what I do. Each new adventure, each new place, each new experience: I drive to my dreams and then create new dreams. I have love for my life now.
This life isn’t perfect. Shit breaks in the RV, I don’t make as much money as I used to and what I am trying to build is going to take a lot of patience. YouTube, the blog, the podcast – these things take time. Living the RV life is strange. Some days you are getting bit by a dog at the RV park and other days you are visiting the grand canyon. Rainy days are boring, but the sun reminds you why you chose this lifestyle. Without the lows, without the days you are pushed to your limits, the magical days on the beach, mountains and desert just wouldn’t be as sweet.
If anyone tries to tell you that living in an RV doesn’t have any cons then they are bull shitting you like the internet loves to do. You are dealing with a small space, your cat is playing around in the litter box presenting a lovely aroma throughout the RV, you find leaks, your slide floor is FUBAR, etc. BUT, I got to say, it’s better than officially being homeless…
I like my life. No, I love my life. And I don’t think that was the case a long time ago. I went from depression and confusion to having more certainty and joy in my life. There is more light than darkness. It’s not all light, but I own more of my personal space than I ever have. I’m good with that, but it does not mean I will stop. There are many mountains to climb. Each present challenges and lessons to be learned. Each mountaintop is a victory, a milestone and a new perspective.
If I was handed it all in the beginning, I would not learn patience or gratitude. I would not truly know joy. I wouldn’t be learning commitment and connectivity. It is through pain and struggle I have learned my strength, a strength I don’t need to prove to others and a strength not harnessed in a gym.
Something that surprises me is when I see people who have it all; family, big dreams, money, travel – but something is still off. So off that you need to take time away from a dream career to get yourself back in order or so off that you end up committing suicide…. It’s heartbreaking and sad to see. I know depression. I know pain. It’s ugly. It’s an internal war that not everyone always notices. This is why I believe health is so important. Self-awareness is important. Taking risks and following your dreams – it’s all important. In the end though we are human. You can have it all, you can feel god like, but shit can still go south and I don’t mean south for the winter. Life isn’t perfect, but nowadays – I love mine.
Find Your Freedom,
3/29/19 | AZ